Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
