We won't sleep together?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
