The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There r osticjed everywhere
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize