he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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