Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize