you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
