im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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