did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
