so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize