why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
