does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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