I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
