Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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