I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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