did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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