I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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