Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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