At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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