i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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