After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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