we're blogging at a bar
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
