you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
