She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
