I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
did you just send me my own nude
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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