So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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