the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize