I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
