What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize