I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
