So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
