can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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