Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
