Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
