I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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