Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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