I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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