another moral hangover. fuck.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
