I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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