i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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