I'm jealous of your bromance
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
