How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
