How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
