I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize