wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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