Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
