Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
