i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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