I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
