I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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