her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
