it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
