PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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