Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
