I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
