Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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