Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
