I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
