I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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