If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need to align my fucking chakras
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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