So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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