Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
love makes seman taste better
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
