i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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