i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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